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Joke of the Day

"""I think I stepped in some upchuck"" What's up, Chuck? ""Not much, but my name's not Chuck"" *vomits*"

"A Lawyer walks into a bar Well, technically, he wasn't a lawyer yet..."

"If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically."

"In bed I'm like Beethoven It's all over in three movements."

"A compulsive liar walks into a doctor's office claiming to be constipated... The doctor tells him he's full of shit."

"A fish swims into a wall. It says damn!"

"Do you think Jesus described his hair color as light blonde or summer wheat?"

"[Guy goes on a date w me] Hm not sure if he likes me [13 more dates] Dunno? [Marries me] It's so confusing [Stays w me 30 yrs] How do u tell"

"Your mother is a 10 On the Richter scale When she walks"

"The 2014 world limbo champion walks into a bar... and loses his title."