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Joke of the Day

"What drink did the Karate Master order? Wa-tah! Haha. I'll leave now... (Sorry if already posted. I searched a little bit but found nothing.)"

"Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead. The sugar bowls empty and so is your head."

"I got really drunk last night, so I decided to take the bus home... I've never driven a bus before!"

"A wife is like a boomerang the harder you throw the faster she comes back."

"If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them."

"Being a parent is the opposite of the Jenny Craig diet. ""I gained 20lbs & all I did was eat small portions of my toddlers leftover dinner."""

"Grandma is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead."

"Damn Shakira is doing Activia commercials too now. With all that belly dancing, you'd think she'd be able to shit. Who knew."

"People are like snowflakes. When they pile up on my car windshield, it's difficult to drive."

"How many friend zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They'll just compliment it way too much and then get pissed when it won't screw."