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Joke of the Day

"I will die on a white floor just to mess with the chalk outline guy."

"Funny tounge twister A black mailman getting blackmailed. (Not trying to offend its just a funny sounding word combo.)"

"I went to Russia, met a guy called Vladislav * **Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.**"

"If Jessica Simpson doesn't name one of her kids ""Homer"", then seriously what's the point?"

"Why did Jared vote for gore in the 2000 election? Jared doesn't care for bush"

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So I could hit her with my car and shut everyone up."

"This national park is nice but the cell service sucks. I can only enjoy natural beauty if I can tweet ironically about it."

"If you tuck your t-shirt into your shorts, don't be surprised if my kid kicks you in the nuts. I'm trying to raise him right."

"What do you call it when you kill an important donkey? An Assassassination. I made it up when I was seven and to this day its the only thing I've ever made up that resembles a joke."