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Joke of the Day

"[jungle book] bagheera: ""you can't fight him like a wolf, you're NOT a wolf, fight him like a man"" mowgli: [writes a strongly worded e-mail]"

"A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone when you buy flowers because they're also a snack for later."

"As ice water runs down my face I conclude, ""Boy, you sure like to eat bread!"" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing."

"I once dated an amputee. She single-handedly changed my life"

"It's great that every Playmate ""just wants a guy that makes them laugh"", because I want a chick with fake boobs that can't form a sentence."

"Today I woke up to a surprise bj for the first time Probably should sleep with my mouth closed from now on"

"You know whats funnier than Philly... Your Religion"

"Geico commercial by Oderous Urungus - ""No matter what your reason, today will be your day to SLAVE!!!"""

"It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you"

"Have you heard of the famous cow? He's legendairy"