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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The respirator. (My dad told me this while he was cooking asparagus)"

"Sex is like maths.. Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply"

"I think I speak for the majority of mute people when I don't say anything at all."

"*licks ice cream cone Cone: I have a boyfriend."

"Q: Why did Thoreau build a house? A: Because he wanted to be walled-in."

"Commercial for elbows: A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. ""Why did I go with the cheap arms?!"" Narrator: ""Elbows"""

"Is it a blow job or a blowjob? Fuck I hate writing thank you cards..."

"Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker? A: A dressmaker tucks up frills."

"How to become a Saint 1: Become Catholic 2: Live an exemplary and pious life 3: Perform at least two miracles Or...Just Be Kanye's baby"

"So a grasshopper walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey we have a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper replies, ""You have a drink named Steve?"" favorite corny joke"