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Joke of the Day

"I would make an economics joke But there's no demand"

"Karma takes too long, I'd rather beat the shit out of you just now."

"I cheated on my girlfriend yesterday We were playing Monopoly, she left and I stole some money from the bank. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"If a hipster falls in the middle of the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yeah, but you've probably never heard it before."

"You're following a man who once stole someone's garbage can lid and used it as an umbrella. That's on you."

"I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto"

"Indiana Jones: [screaming as his hand is crushed under a door] ARRGGHHH! WHY? WHY DID I REACH FOR MY HAT? I OWN SO MANY HATS!!"

"I could've had a kid with a heroin addiction but Noooo. Instead my kid wants to join a Christian rock band."

"What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use? oink"

"Can someone give me a pun about death of a salesman. preferably about willy, but anything will do"