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Joke of the Day

"I asked the doctor how much longer I've got. He said, ""A few inches. You clearly enjoy prostate exams."""

"[In elevator] Penguin: what floor do you want? Man: 5th please. *penguin accidentally slaps all the buttons with his fin*"

"White ppl be like ""What's the return policy on this umbrella?"""

"Wow, somebody finally wrote a book about clock fetishes! It's about fucking time."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog Your just playing too much croquet!"

"I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal."

"Why are lesbian prostitutes so wealthy? They make money hand over fist"

"How does a dishwasher make his money? Panhandling"

"Why does a dentist seem moody? Because he always looks down in the mouth."

"Q: Why did the wrestlers have to fight in the dark? A: Their match wouldn't light."