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Joke of the Day

"What is the least pleasant state to live in? Missouri."

"What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay? I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing."

"If you're not part of the solution... ... you are part of precipitate."

"My friend found a Paras while we were playing Pokemon Go. So I asked him, ""Was it under a truck?"""

"I'll never forget my grandfather last words to me ""Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!"""

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? If we don't get support soon, people will think we are nuts."

"I want a job as a mirror cleaner... It's something I can see myself doing."

"there's a portal to another dimension underneath Zooey Deschanel's bangs and I am determined to use it to meet Benjamin Franklin"

"Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married?? A Cantaloupe."

"My ex's ex and my left hand are dating."