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Joke of the Day

"Just walked in on Mark Zuckerberg writing down the contents of my medicine cabinet."

"Day 3 of weight loss challenge: all my coworkers look like tacos. I do not understand how the meat remains in the shell as they walk around."

"My friend tried playing Pokemon Go in Vegas, but sadly lost his phone. All he caught was herpes."

"Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? Depends how big the ash tray is."

"99 Problems If you havin adventure problems I feel bad for you son, I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one. Hit me!"

"Why do bears' mouths water whenever they look at Trump? Because they think that thing on his head (his hair) is an animal and they want to eat it."

"I hate it when people can't make a good sausage its the wurst"

"I hear that in Star Wars 8 they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother... His name is Y Solo."

"Did you hear about the constipated chancellor of the exchequer? He couldn't budge-it!"