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Joke of the Day

"My friend Jerry and I built a house... It was absolutely floorless. I mean we really nailed it this time. Not like the last one that we screwed up. This time we just did a really wood job."

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"What will happen if you went inside a black hole? I don't know either. It must be out-of-this-world."

"""Ok Noah, that's 2 of everything! Did I see a 3rd sheep in your office tho?"" Nope ""Yea I did, it had lipstick on?"" Nope, raise the anchor"

"How to make a gay man fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt."

"What led to the discovery of gravitational waves? A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama"

"A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, ""I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."""

"Scott. Scott goes to a party Scott knocks on the door Scott is greeted by more popular kids Scott is excluded from the party Scott no friends"

"What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !"

"People say there is safety in numbers... Tell that to 6,000,000 jews."