140594

Joke of the Day

"Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in..."

"What did water say when ice farted? Ice melt it."

"I'm starting a new abortion clinic and naming it... Scrambled Eggs."

"My brothel has no regular customers... People just cum and go."

"i was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers"

"What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck. Sorry."

"I'm gonna start following my cat to the litter box and sit in her lap while she takes a shit"

"The kids at school used to call my mum the village bike She wasn't promiscuous; when I was six years old she went missing and they found her in the canal. (Mat Ewins)"

"I know this is an unpopular opinion, but Krusty from The Simpsons is running for president. Bring on the clownvotes."

"Why do tampons find it so hard to make friends? They're all stuck-up cunts."