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Joke of the Day

"A jewish boy asks his father for 40 dollars. The father responds ""30 dollars?! What do you need 20 dollars for?"""

"My dad is sadly hooked up to a life support machine. My mother says he is the most switched-on man in our town."

"Math joke My Calculus teacher told me:""Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."" I replied:""Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"""

"So I married way too young... Oops, she spells it Wei Tu Yung"

"Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to..... They are always in denial."

"My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof."

"A crowd of theater fanatics walk into a bar. They go to the bartender and say, ""One round please."" ""A round of what?"" The bartender asks. ""A round of *applause*!"" They all scream in unison."

"What a tense, tense day 4/19 was. Maybe tomorrow, somehow, will be a little mellower."

"How do you make a duck sing soul music? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers."

"At my local police station, the toilet was stolen The police have nothing to go on"