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Joke of the Day

"Do I at least get to yell ""Jenga!"" if my life falls apart?"

"What's the difference between the Joker and Ronald McDonald? The Joker only killed people in Gotham City."

"How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy? Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back."

"I set my kid's dollhouse on fire then asked: DO YOU HAVE INSURANCE?! DOES BARBIE HAVE AN ESCAPE PLAN?! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! Life lessons"

"What business is King Kong in? Monkey business."

"*shows up to date with horse drawn carriage* ""I'm so surprised!"" Yes it's a terrible drawing of a carriage but he didn't have thumbs so"

"Dear Microsoft, If you had called it ""Bang"" instead of ""Bing,"" you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I banged Sofia Vergara last night."

"I'm taking a 10-hour drive tomorrow and I'm worried about where I'll be pooping. What? No. I don't want to supersize. Aren't you listening?"

"What do you call a midget esse? A paragraph. Because he ain't a full esse."

"What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ? Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !"