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Joke of the Day

"Dear Microsoft, If you had called it ""Bang"" instead of ""Bing,"" you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I banged Sofia Vergara last night."

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

"I was driving on the highway and seen a sign that read ""Next Rest Area, 10 Miles"" That's a pretty big rest area"

"I have a huge clock. Some would even say it's pendulous."

"If you feed me & have the heat on high, I will fall asleep on you. So to have a much more interesting date with me keep me hungry and cold"

"How do bunny rabbits like their beer brewed? With lots of hops!"

"Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday."

"Wait in a dressing room until an employee comes to ask if they can help. Answer yes, pause, then say, ""But I need to be able to trust you"""

"The awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and can't do it."

"What do you call an ant from overseas ? Impartant"