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Joke of the Day

"smh, I bought tickets to Disney on ice & it was just 2 hours of Donald Duck smoking crystal meth"

"Peter Gabriel, after watching Miley Cyrus's ""Wrecking Ball"" video. ""Well, I certainly don't wanna be HER sledgehammer!"""

"Did you hear about the blind skunk? It fell in love with a fart."

"What's an educated hole in the wall? A wisecrack."

"I hate when I'm checking out a bag of chips, and the guy standing in front of it, thinks my lustful gaze is meant for him."

"Donald Trump pushes Jimmy Fallon off a cliff.... Jimmy fallon proceeds to open his mouth and yell ""I'm Fallon son!"""

"Why is Donald Trump always biting his fingers? Because they look just like Vienna sausages."

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Only a hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"Relationship Status: Got put in the friend zone by a succubus playing around on a Ouija board. I can't even get lucky in the spirit world."

"Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt."