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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I'm checking out a bag of chips, and the guy standing in front of it, thinks my lustful gaze is meant for him."

"If I had a dollar for every time a girl found me unattractive . . . Pretty soon Id be attractive"

"TIFU when my HS friends and me tried to pull a prank on a substitute teacher wrong sub"

"Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me........ Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"Two bananas are sitting on a river bank.. A turd comes floating by. The turd says "" come on in guys, the waters great!"" The one banana looks at the other banana and says ""you believe that shit!"""

"Good news: He told me I was his penguin. Bad news: Penguins only have sex once a year."

"What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl? ""Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy"""

"Stevie Wonder is a genius! He has such an eye for detail"

"What did the farmer tell the hoe? Let's get dirty."

"My favorite knock knock joke. I need someone to start it ... Someone start the knock knock joke ..."