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Joke of the Day

"Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. Two women trying to kill each other over shoes. Brilliant, really."

"Why are karate people always breaking boards? Did boards kill their parents?"

"""Is it in yet???"" -My ATM, mocking me."

"I hate being bipolar.. It's great."

"'I like big butts and I cannot lie.' - homeless guy rummaging through an ashtray."

"Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me."

"Why couldn't Jesus waterski? Because he never existed."

"I saw your wife cheating on you. Sure? What was she wearing? A white and gold dress. Uff, what a relief, she was wearing a black and blue one."

"The richest man in the world will be the one who creates a pair of sunglasses that automatically plays a guitar solo when slightly lowered."

"What did the saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? ""Man, if we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts."""