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Joke of the Day

"My Wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter. I dont know what she was more angry about, me having sex with our daughter or that the abortion clinic let me keep the foetus"

"A classic Tommy Cooper gag * I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' * He said: 'How flexible are you?' * I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"""

"a pizza is basicaly a real-time pie chart of how much pizza i am going to eat"

"What does a brick and your mom have in common? They are both flat-chested and laid by Mexicans. Source: My old middle school."

"Cops are looking for a fat bank robber. He's still at large."

"I hosted a debate between ""Safe Space"" advocates and critics The safe space advocates didn't show up and called for my resignation."

"Ignorance is only bliss until you wish you knew the answer"

"[NSFW][REALLY NSFW] I hate pedophiles... They're fucking immature assholes"

"Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost"

"Whats the difference between Aladdin lamp and women make up - nothing if you rub both you will find a freak"