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Joke of the Day

"If you had one match to light a kerosene lamp, fire place, wood-burning stove Which do you light first? The match"

Next Joke
 
"The first ten years of a girls life is spent playing with barbies. The next ten years is spent trying to look like one."
"What should you do if you find yourself at a my chemical romance gig? Mope the fuck outta there."
"Why was 6 afraid of 10? Because 10 was in the middle of 9,11..."
"Why did Nobelium's car got towed away? He parked at a *No* parking!"
"Me: Ohhh, MARITAL arts workshop...now I really feel stupid in this karate outfit. Wife to therapist: Do you see what I'm dealing with here?"
"I dont make typos. I make new words."
"I just sold viagra to a guy who thinks it's adderal. He's going to have a very hard test tomorrow."
"Why don't they just use a 3 year old with a drum set as an enhanced interrogation technique?"
"GEORGE WASHINGTON: We should put ""We Trust In God"" on our money THOMAS JEFFERSON: Great idea. Did you get that? YODA (taking notes): Yep"