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Joke of the Day

"""I'm your biggest fan."" -- That humongous talking fan you bought from that magician"

"I think that's enough coffee. I can hear my cells dividing."

"If seagulls fly over the sea,what flies over the bay? Bagels. Ha."

"All generalizations are false, including this one."

"Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back."

"Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states."

"Why is Yoda afraid of seven? Because six seven eight."

"What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic? Meals on wheels"

"What if Harambe was shot by a time traveler trying to prevent Planet of the Apes"

"What do you call 4 condoms? For me, a year's supply."