218503

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states."

"I'll have a salad but on top of a burger with cheese ""So you want a cheeseburger?"" Yes but when you bring it to me say here's your salad"

"*a man runs into the bar* ""HELP HELP, IS ANYONE HERE COUSINS WITH BON JOVI?"" *my date looks at me, I do nothing, my lies are now exposed*"

"Did you hear about the Iranian terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter because he couldn't stand the draft?"

"Why is it so hard for men to get on Christian Mingle? Only women get a ""SUBMIT"" button."

"What happens when the Pope dies? ....another one popes up."

"How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was."

"What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November."

"""The first guy to suggest peeing on a jellyfish sting was called a pervert but it worked"" I said to my wife as she complained of a toothache"

"Why are Trump supporters *not* Nazis? When Nazis demanded your papers, they said ""please."""