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Joke of the Day

"One of the stone tiles in my bathroom looks exactly like Walter Cronkite. And he is not impressed by my erection."

"I'm starting a band. It'll be called ""The disease"" just so I can call Chris Martin to tell him he is part of neither the cure nor the disease."

"What's a bridges favourite genre of film? Suspense tion"

"Me: Threesome? Wife: When pigs fly! Do I wish for flying pigs? Pro: Threesome Con: High bacon prices *has idea *starts building catapult"

"The father of Mike Davidson, what's his full name? David Mikesdaad"

"Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet."

"Why did the chicken run out into traffic? To get to the other side."

"A joke from my 5 year old brother... Q: What has four legs but doesn't move? A: A statue of a dog!"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb. Just 2 but makes you wonder how they got inside the bulb"

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? ...Because she's dead."