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Joke of the Day
"Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet."
Next Joke
"Every night it sounds like my neighbors take turns at running headfirst into their walls"
"Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don't like being that guy holding two purses."
"Dogs can't operate an MRI machine But catscan"
"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall into the cup of hot chocolate."
"Why is cupid bad at basketball? When he shoots, someone else scores."
"I am absolutely mortified right now. I sent someone a DM to my small business center and TinyURL shortened it to http://tinyurl.com/acockk"
"PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom"
"Why was Cleopatra so negative? Because she was queen of denial."
"What's the difference between you and a baby bird. The bird got laid."