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Joke of the Day

"DAE keeps struggling with fitting their shopping cart into a row of parked shopping carts? Apparently you first have to remove your daughter."

"I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind At that moment I received a text message that said ""Well, that's too bad"""

"Serial killers are updating their check list now for dumping bodies: 1) will this location be discovered by Pokemon players? 2) do I care?"

"Why don't women like to wear dresses in the winter? Chapped lips"

"How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye."

"What's the worst part about being a pedophile? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."

"How does Lord Voldemort like his pussy? (whisper) HHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY"

"What did Pink Floyd say to Jerry Sandusky? Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!"

"Zero word punchlines * Does this smell like chloroform to you? * I wonder what happens when I pull this pin? * Does this hurt? Comment some more!"

"I call my penis Oscar Pistorius... ... it only goes inside for a disappointingly short period of time."