16126

Joke of the Day

"I call my penis Oscar Pistorius... ... it only goes inside for a disappointingly short period of time."

"If I was Genghis Khan's personal advisor Every time he had a moment of self doubt, I'd remind him he is Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't."

"What's the difference between Ben Roethlisberger and a therapist? There's a space between the E and the R"

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? Oh wait, I don't have a garage. Sorry neighbor I'll clean them out tomorrow."

"Why do Lannisters hate turtles? Cause they can't stab them in the back"

"2 Scientists walk into a bar, one asks for H20 and the other asks for H20 too. The other scientist dies."

"How many cis-gender white males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. And it would be his privilege to help out."

"I notice you only call when you want something Person calling: ma'am your bill is 90 days past due"

"Seriously. Who gets ""regular strength"" ANYTHING?! ""Yeah, go ahead & gimme your middle-of-the-road shit. I'd like this headache to LINGER."""

"Him: God you smell good, what is that? Me: chicken nuggets"