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Joke of the Day

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear zippers."

"What does velcro yell as it charges into battle? ATTACH!"

"I don't know why some people are so against jokes about the Nazi's They kill in the Jewish communities"

"Naughty Boy Teacher said the students to convert the sentence ""I killed a person"" into future tense. Suddenly one of the boys stands up and said, Sir the future tense is ""u will go to jail""!"

"What does smoking a cigarette and eating a pussy have in common? [NSFW] The flavor gets stronger as you get closer to the butt."

"I hope the zombies start with people that talk to me when I'm obviously counting."

"What do you call a black guy who just graduated from medical school? Doctor, you racist son of a bitch."

"Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later"

"Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. ."

"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"""