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Joke of the Day

"How many bees do you need in a bee choir ? A humdred !"

"I don't work here. I'm a consultant."

"How can you tell that you had sex with a Mexican woman the night before? You wake up with a jalapeno seed on your dick."

"Did you know I'm dating a dental hygienist? She has the cleanest teeth I've ever come across."

"BREAKING NEWS Paula Deen's snack mix now contains ""Brazil Nuts"""

"I just saw a Koi Fish that had a white guy tattooed on it"

"My heart sank when I received the text message ""I am breaking up with you. It's over between us"" from my partner. But ""Sorry, wrong number baby"" came afterwards. Whew, what a relief!"

"If there really was a Purge, and all crime was legal for one night, I'd probably do something super crazy, like loiter."

"What do you call a Reddit Psychic? A 4chan teller"

"When I'm bored on a plane, I pull a random machine part out of my pocket and ask the person next to me ""Do you know where this came from?"""