220411
Joke of the Day
"Can't imagine what's it like to have no imagination."
Next Joke
"Trying to improve my street cred by lowering our minivan a couple inches."
"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino \_()_/ "
"Get rich quick scheme #12 Sell windows/glass in Baltimore"
"[tied up by the mafia] any last requests? ""yes, let me go"" [still gets killed despite finding a loophole cuz the mafia arent very nice]"
"I hate when waitresses flirt with me.. I can't tell if they just want the tip or if they want just the tip."
"Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings? Syrian Mckellen"
"What's the hardest part about roller blading? Telling your parents that you're gay."
"Confucius he say Man who wank into till Come into money. Source: My mate Dave at uni circa 1998."
"Wow, what a day. I volunteered at a soup kitchen, caught up on my scrapbookin', went 2 baby shower, ran 9 miles, then told lies on twitter."