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Joke of the Day

"What's one thing a girl can tell a guy that can make him happy and sad at the same time? Out of all of your friends you have the biggest dick."

"I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat."

"I don't know how Valve managed to do it, but... they even included the British Pound in their summer sale this year."

"Can't wait for the release of Jurassic Park 4D where they just let dinosaurs loose in the theater and you have to try to survive for 2 hours"

"Parents, talk with your children about the importance of saving frequently so they won't have to restart at the beginning of the level."

"Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!! Lucky I got the first punch in."

"What comes at the end of every Ray Rice joke? the punchline"

"Why did Willow Smith whip her hair? Because it has been very knotty. Apologies in advance"

"Schools are reporting a massive jump in average ACT scores. On a completely unrelated note, the amount of black students taking the ACT is at a all time low."

"What great song is associated with hamburgers and baseball? 'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!"