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Joke of the Day
"Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best"
Next Joke
"What do you call a pretzel that got his ass kicked? A salted pretzel"
"The Counselor was greeting the new campers. 'So you decided to come to camp' she said to one. 'Nope' the camper answered. 'I was sent to camp!'"
"Why will we never know if Rick James was bald? Rogaine is a hell of a drug."
"A movie about a surfer vs. a shark but instead of going back into the water & fighting the shark & dying, she finds somewhere else to surf."
"dad: Hand me that Phillips screwdriver me: *looking* dad: Isn't that a Phillips beside you? me: It says ""Craftsman"" dad: me: Are you crying?"
"A woman told me I seem like I ""need a blowjob,"" which has all the insight of a psychic telling a crowd ""someone here has lost a loved one."""
"If these grapes were drugs I'd be overdosing like a child star of the 80s."
"Tell women at the bar you are the lead singer of Train. There's no way they can know your lying."
"As if being a surgeon wasn't enough you're a general too?"