220141

Joke of the Day

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 Jumpers. They went 79 stories in 10 seconds."

"This whole time I thought Ariana Grande was a font"

"""1990 called, they want their shirt back."" ""...why didn't you warn them about 9/11?"""

"How much room does a fungi need to grow? As *Mushroom* as possible!"

"The ex hasn't moved out yet. To make her uncomfortable I left a new box of condoms out on the table. She retaliated with a pregnancy kit."

"Every time my gf stays over we reenact the last scene from Titanic. She hogs 99% of the bed while I'm in the floor hanging on for dear life."

"Where do taxi drivers with bad skin go for treatment? The Taxi Dermist."

"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."

"Why was Mark Fuch a terrible mailman? He keeps delivering to the wrong fuching address!"

"What do Mexicans use to slice pizza? Little Caesers"