191933

Joke of the Day

"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."

"What are you people doing? making this crap up."

"How do you know a cat is ready to leave? He makes a fe-line for the door."

"What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)? one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P"

"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short."

"What's the similarity between a burned pizza and parents? If it's black it won't give you any food"

"The hardest part about having an ugly child is lying to them when they ask you if you love them."

"*watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *has to pee* *watches soccer* *gets up to pee* *misses goal* :/"

"*shots fired in the club over the last slice of pizza*"

"Have you heard about these new corduroy pillows? They've really been making headlines. -courtesy of my 8 year old niece."