220139

Joke of the Day

"I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?"

"Haiku to the cheating girlfriend A haiku is five, then seven then five again, but who cares you whore"

"I'm terrified to death of someone stealing my identity and improving my credit"

"In honor of National Limerick day (U.S.) There once was a man from Nantucket Who had a cock so big he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin If my ear were a pussy I'd fuck it"

"I don't want to brag but unlike most men I need both hands for a wank . One for the magnifying glass and one for the tweezers."

"When you hear ""I do not love you but we can be friends"" it's like... your mother says ""Your dog died but you can keep it""."

"What happens to the taxidermist after he eats? He gets stuffed."

"What did Kermit eat after he got divorced? Pork Chops"

"I've always wanted to own a funeral home.... With the slogan, ""We love it when business is dead."""

"I'm gonna make a porn of midgets working at a burger place I'll call it ""Quarter Pounder"""