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Joke of the Day

"When you hear ""I do not love you but we can be friends"" it's like... your mother says ""Your dog died but you can keep it""."

"There are two types of people in this world... Those who hate clowns, and clowns."

"Why should you never go down on a girl the morning after sex? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Diarrhea is hereditary. Apparently it runs in your jeans."

"Q: Why don't blondes eat Jelly? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads."

"Two dyslexics.. walk into a bra."

"Obama ran around the whitehouse with Biden. Their total time was 9:48. When they had finished Biden said ""Hey Barack, did we beat the record?"" Out of breath Obama said ""No, Bush did 9:11"""

"[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish."

"Anyone else like the holidays of other cultures? Like, I love the one where you take a bunch of presents and hide them in the attic. Or as you may know it, Anne Frank's birthday."

"Why did the sick bird come in jail? Because it was an ill-eagle."