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Joke of the Day

"""THEN HE GOES BACK IN TIME AND THE DOGGIE IS SAD AND ICE CREAM."" --My 3 year-old, telling a more coherent story than LOST."

"Intellectual Joke Helium walks into a bar, The bar tender says ""We don't serve noble gases in here."" Helium doesn't react."

"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? Because if it had 4, it would be a chicken sedan."

"At 14 I asked my dad about a tattoo. He said ok as long as I got it someplace that doesn't matter. So I got it in Detroit."

"judas: i would never betray jesus he's the best jesus: my favorite movie is the Minions Movie judas: i am going to betray the son of God"

"Here is a joke I just read Question: How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: I'm better than you."

"What do you get when you cross a baseball with a turkey? A fowl ball!"

"I got voted ""Least Likely To Succeed"" by my high school class... Fuck, I hate being a teacher."

"did you know there are people who hate jews who are not nazis? yeah, they.re called tenants."

"It's crazy how much stuff there is to do on my phone when sitting at a restaurant alone."