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Joke of the Day

"Girl are you a fox? Because I don't know wtf you're saying."

"Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You'd think SOMEONE could've let me know I was out of toilet paper."

"If simply wrinkling my nose at your smell is politer than spraying you head to foot with Febreze then so be it. Not happy but so be it."

"[Joseph checking in to hotel] ""Is there WiFi?"" Only in the stable *later to Virgin Mary* ""Honey, hotel was booked. Gotta stay in the stable"""

"What do you call space herpes? Star Warts."

"The other day I saw a sign on my street for a garage sale ...but I didn't go. I already had a garage."

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"""

"A guy is talking to his friend about his new girlfriend ""I did her up the arse on the first date"" the guy reveals proudly. ""no shit?"" His friend replies. ""nah, she had an enema beforehand"""

"When a black guy pulls a knife on me on the subway I remind him he doesn't have to feed into racial stereotypes. Then I usually get stabbed."

"Whoa whoa whoa... I was stalking her first buddy..."