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Joke of the Day

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"""

"Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy."

"Apples are my second favourite fruit. They're sublime!"

"What does the sign at a nudist Buddhist beach say? No [Bhikkhunis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhuni) allowed."

"Glad marijuana is being legalized. It sure helps coping with the election results."

"Drugs don't ruin your career. Drug tests do."

"The first ten years of a girls life is spent playing with barbies. The next ten years is spent trying to look like one."

"I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. Ninety-eight of them said, ""Screamed get out.. get out of my bathroom?"""

"What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater ? A plain clothes police dog !"

"KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub."