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Joke of the Day

"If simply wrinkling my nose at your smell is politer than spraying you head to foot with Febreze then so be it. Not happy but so be it."

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"Deja Poo The overwhelming feeling of ""I think I have heard this bullshit before."""
"Every time I'm at the dentist my doctor makes me feel like a bad Christian I'm Jewish."
"Police have arrested a cat for robbery Guess they've identified the purrpetrator"
"My girlfriend asked me what color her eyes were today... I responded, ""36C""."
"Me with megaphone: ""COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR."" Man: ""I'm fixing your roof tiles, remember?"" Me: ""I FORGOT!"""
"Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues."
"Monday is one of my favourite days of the week--my 7th favourite."
"I don't stereotype.... I type with one hand."
"In my house ""no"" means keep doing it till mom loses her shit."