21980

Joke of the Day

"Why do so many American kids die in school shootings? They're not allowed to run in the halls. [-Jimmy Carr](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpxmKKtbw7w)"

"Winnie the Pooh: will u marry me? Piglet: for the last time, u don't get a literal ""honey"" moon Pooh: pls say yes I need to see for myself"

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was *in tents.*"

"Give a man a hamburger and you feed him for a day; teach a man to hamburgle and you feed him for a lifetime."

"What do Nagasaki and Tehran have in common??? Nothing... yet."

"New Password So I tried to make my new password 'beef stew.' But it wasn't stroganoff."

"A girl grabbed my cock and said, ""Wow! Your dick wouldn't make a very good clock."" ""Why?"" I asked, intrigued. ""Because I'd struggle to get a second hand on it,"" she replied."

"""Very colorful, fun. I'd put it in my mouth"" ""A bit scary, seems sharp. Still, I'd put it in my mouth"" -Baby reviews of stuff on the floor"

"I would describe the cologne on the guy who was just in the elevator with me as ""all of it."""

"As an English person there's one thing I love between me and the French. The English Channel."