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Joke of the Day

"Running away doesn't help you with your problems Unless you're fat. Then yeah, run."

"I've heard like eight cancer jokes today... If I hear another one it's gonna benign"

"I designed a website for orphans. There isn't a homepage."

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. (oldie but goodie)"

"Why did the chicken droid NOT cross the road? Because it had a bad motivator!"

"""Hand me downs"" Apparently not the right way to ask the wife to hand me our disabled baby."

"I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones"

"I wish my garden was emo... Why? So it will cut itself."

"I've never approached even 10% of Aerosmith's level of excitement that a dude looks like a lady."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number.. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""