10742

Joke of the Day

"""Give me your Vitamin Water and your organic gluten-free cookies unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2012 school bully"

"How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue toast to the ceiling."

"Bruno Mars is the best levitating vegetable magician I've ever seen. He can do 24 Carrot Magic in the Air"

"Yo mama is so dumb..... That she shakes her baby when she reads the orange juice label."

"Police Chief: There has been a car hi on Seventh Street Police Officer: Don't you mean a hijack? Chief: No, he had an iPhone 7"

"How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day? None"

"video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house."

"Are you a guitar? Because I want to wrap my hands around your neck."

"Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?"

"Did you hear about the lumberjack who was looking oking for help? He went to town and found another feller."