21960

Joke of the Day

"*puts leash around pet lobster* I think there will be games and lots of friends to play with Pinchy *walks into Lobsterfest* COVER YOUR EYES"

"What type of bees makes milk instead of honey? Boobies"

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear sea shells? Because she doesn't fit into B shells"

"My friend threw a pebble at me for not giving him the video game he wanted for Christmas... I just said 'Let he who is without sims throw the first stone'."

"Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity... No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes."

"My Mother in law said to me: ""I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"" ""Good!"" I said, ""I'm being buried at sea."""

"""Hey sorry Im overprotective, guess I just get nervous since I watched OUR FAMILY GET MURDERED!"" -What the dad on Finding Nemo shouldve said"

"Star Wars Episode VII is like a used car lot. (spoilers) It's where you can see an old Hyundai"

"What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common? The end has no Jack."

"How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Social scientists do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out."