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Joke of the Day

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? ... Denim denim denim"

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"I needed the loo, and only a wishing well was in sight. Well. Shit."
"How are wives like cholesterol? If you ignore them for too long they'll probably end up killing you"
"Butcher A man in a butcher shop: ""I would like bull testicles please"" Butcher: ""Me too"""
"The nice thing about being a hypochondriac is eventually you'll be right, then die while going, ""See? Told you."""
"People are like, ""Jess, can you give me some advice?"" & I'm like, ""K, don't get kidnapped."""
"Today is a big day for the Chinese. Erection Day"
"According to my doctor it would be best for my health to stay away from trans fats I'm really gonna miss Tumblr."
"If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit."
"Everyone's an atheist until they're making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail"