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Joke of the Day

"Everything my boy friend ever said to me was a lie. Every. Fcuking. Thing. Except the part about how pretty I was, that was true."

"What did the Nazi Officer say when he saw the Americans approaching? Au Schwitz!"

"Girlfriend: Why is this broom broken? Did you draw a lightning bolt on the cat? Are you writing with a feather? Me: Muggles...."

"There are 2 types of people in the world... Those who can extrapolate conclusions from incomplete data..."

"What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot you racist freaks!"

"Learned from my 2yr old tonight that Jesus doesn't like bananas. No word on cauliflower yet but pretty sure he's not a fan."

"Coworker: What was your college major? Me: How to avoid student-loan debt, with a minor in teen pregnancy."

"2 gay guys and 2 lesbians are Going to the beach. Who gets there first? The gay guys because they packed their shit the night before."

"I took everything with a grain of salt and now I have hypertension."

"Why doesn't Barbie have kids? Cause Ken cums in another box..."