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Joke of the Day

"A yoga pants owner, an uggs owner, and an iphone owner walks into a starbucks She orders a drink - Pumpkin Spice Latte"

"Running your mouth is not cardio."

"Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant? Here teacher said to go home and do her ""essay""."

"If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 12 years old and in the cellar"

"What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all ye faithful'"

"Why do white girls go out in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"I'm scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I'll run them under cold water for half a second"

"911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say ""yeah, got ur text"""

"Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation? John Cougar's Melon Camp"