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Joke of the Day

"If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you."

"What's the slogan for Orion's Pizza? OP delivers. Not a great joke, but my wife claims no one will get it. I am trying to prove her wrong."

"I like to read the Constitution for the articles."

"Reportedly Wayne Rooney said to Roy Hodgson ""I don't know if I'm better on the left, middle or right"" Hodgson responded ""Shut up and pick a seat on the plane Wayne"""

"Why do black men cry after sex? From the pepper spray."

"It looks like I'm missing a lot of tweets. They were probably so great the Library of Congress just couldn't wait to archive them."

"My ex told me that I was gonna die alone... I told her she was wrong because I would die while making out with a shotgun."

"I want a house I can drive my car in You could drive from vroom to vroom."

"What advice did Tiger Woods' dad have for Tiger during training? Concentrate on golffuck everything else."

"Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? Apparently, it's making headlines."