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Joke of the Day

"""I think we should start touching other people."" -Blind couple breaking up."

"I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."

"Why did the rap battle champion get the most spacious and accessible seat on the bus? Because of his dis-ability."

"*goes to pond* *duck hands me $100* ""Give me the hard stuff."" *hands over bag of croutons*"

"What do you call it when you punch someone with an avocado? Guacamelee"

"Have you ever shoed a horse? No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."

"Dogs are great for meeting girls. Pack of dogs attack a girl she's gonna need to go to a hospital. Who's gonna drive her? That's right. You."

"The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ""For whosoever we are about to eat may the Lord make us truly thankful."""

"What do they eat instead of ""pigs in a blanket"" in McKinney, TX? Pork in a roll. (At least I'm trying)"

"Whats the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face"