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Joke of the Day

"Why are the mountains in Switzerland called ""the Alps""? Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!"

"Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns."

"A musician always closed his eyes when he sang. When asked, he replied, ""I can't bear to see people suffering."""

"WANT TO HEAR A JOKE?! Want to Hear a Joke? My Life :)"

"I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"

"I'm bored I think I'll go to the mall, find a really good parking spot and sit there with my reverse lights on."

"I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said, ""You're pulling my leg."""

"Where does Dracula live? Monte Cristo"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Buckle ! Buckle who ? Buckle get you a drink but not much else !"

"What do you call the yellow ones? -Yellow labs. And the black ones? -Black labs. So the brown ones are- -No we named those after dog poison."