14167

Joke of the Day

"A musician always closed his eyes when he sang. When asked, he replied, ""I can't bear to see people suffering."""

"In honor of To Set A Watchmen coming out soon, what would Harper Lee's book be called if she was Mexican? Tequila Mockingbird."

"What does a 90 year old woman taste like? Depends."

"Did you hear Bruce Willis tried to overdose on viagra? He wanted to Die Hard."

"Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells."

"My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!"

"School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't."

"I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex. He's a small arms dealer."

"When my friends told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."

"Two biologists have twins. They named one Jessica, and named the other Control."