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Joke of the Day

"My son has about 12 seconds to learn patience."

"I've never once used the ""C word"" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts."

"Do the the fatty acids get picked on by the other acids?"

"Why is Pharrell Williams happy? Because he ""got lucky""."

"I don't always say bye... but when I do, it's to Felicia"

"The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work."

"What would Steve Harvey change his name to if he suddenly became bulimic? Heave Starvey"

"*golf pro picks up his ball and eats it* *audience claps politely*"

"Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker? Because he is."

"The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead."